TEN Gossip

‘Nightlight’ A Funny ‘Twilight’ Parody

Posted by taylor blue on November 4, 2009
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I am an avid reader and right now I’m reading, The Mortal Instruments Series. I’m almost done the second book but feel heartbroken about the characters so I must admit that I haven’t been reading as much as I used to.

I had heard about Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon a couple weeks ago and how it was a parody of Twilight. I know that when I was reading it I had some silly questions about the characters. The book finally came out today and on the EW website they posted a chapter of it.

The main character is Belle and she is moving from Phoenix to where her dad lives, Switchblade. And the main character that she falls in love with is a computer geek named, Edwart. I have to say that I read through the first chapter quite quickly laughing and getting stares at the other people in my house. Here is my favorite excerpt from the first chapter.

It was then that I saw him. He was sitting at a table all by himself, not even eating. He had an entire tray of baked potatoes in front of him and still he did not touch a single one. How could a human have his pick of baked potatoes and resist them all? Even odder, he hadn’t noticed me, Belle Goose, future Academy Award winner.

A computer sat before him on the table. He stared intently at the screen, narrowing his eyes into slits and concentrating those slits on the screen as if the only thing that mattered to him was physically dominating that screen. He was muscular, like a man who could pin you up against the wall as easily as a poster, yet lean, like a man who would rather cradle you in his arms. He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually. He looked older than the other boys in the room — maybe not as old as God or my father, but certainly a viable replacement. Imagine if you took every woman’s idea of a hot guy and averaged it out into one man. This was that man.

”What is that?” I asked, knowing that whatever it was it wasn’t avian.

”That’s Edwart Mullen,” Lululu said.

Edwart. I had never met a boy named Edwart before. Actually, I had never met any human named Edwart before. It was a funny sounding name. Much funnier than Edward.

I can’t wait to get the whole book and read and giggle through the whole thing! I hope they end up writing all the books. I know there is a couple of the characters like Dr. Cullen and Emmett and how they would make them really funny.

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