On October 31st, 1993 at 1:51 a.m. River Phoenix died in front of the Viper Room.  I was 18 and I remember that River’s death was one of the first major celebrity deaths I had experienced. (The next one being Kurt Cobain in April of 1994.) I remember sitting in front of the TV with my mom and we would watch all those entertainment type shows like Entertainment Tonight and Inside Edition and listen to what happened. (I am sure if it was like the time now we would have been on the internet )

It was something that shook my world. River had such a career ahead of him and he died so young. I see now that there has been many after him like Heath Ledger and DJ AM that have died way before they should have. And I was at such a young age I didn’t think that I would have to experience something like that again. It shouldn’t be happening and we should be able to live life happy without having to worry about the great ones that left us. But it doesn’t happen that way. That’s why I’m glad that I’m a writer and I’m able to be able to talk about them and remember them.

Even 16 years later people can’t stop talking about River. There was a quote at the end of an article that inspired this piece for me and I wanted to quote the quote the writer used there by James Taylor. It seemed to sum it up all nicely.

I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I’d see you again…

It seems like every week these days we are writing posts about someone dying. Today it happens to be Patrick Swayze who lost his 20 month fight with pancreatic cancer. I know many people said it was bound to happen. But I was hoping maybe Patrick could last forever.

I want to remember Patrick the best way I know. As Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing. I used to watch that movie as a little girl and wish that I could be Baby and dance with him. I even bought the soundtrack on record so I could listen to it all the time. Yes, I said record.

Celebrities took to Twitter to pay their respects to this amazing actor that we will all miss dearly.

@emmyrossum: RIP. My heart hurts

@Alyssa_Milano: RIP Patrick. You were a great talent. And more importantly… a true gentleman.

@amandabynes: I have a great deal of faith in faith; if u believe something strongly enough, it becomes true for u. Patrick Swayze RIP.

@seankingston: R.I.P Patrick Swayze ;(

@jamie_oliver: sad news Patrick Swazey the actor from dirty dancing just passed away, very sad i met him once he seemed nice, very sad night.

@DonnieWahlberg: Moment of silence and respect… We just lost the subject of one of our best songs ever… And a true star… R.I.P. Patrick Swayze.

@rosemcgowan: He was so brave&he fought so valiantly.yet another RIP Patrick Swayze.

@billyraycyrus: Patrick Swayze. An inspiration to all. A great man and your work will live forever. May God be with you and your loved ones……… Amen.

@yvettenbrown: I’m sad to hear about Patrick Swayze’s passing. My heart breaks for his wife.

@TheRealJordin: Awww RIP Patrick Swayze. He was such a fighter! He doesn’t have to be in pain anymore.

Our thoughts are with Patrick Swayze’s family and friends as they get through this time. I hope they can find peace soon. I hope that Patrick is happy where he is because his fighting and pain are over. You will be missed my Johnny Castle, you will be missed.

George Clooney was busy in Italy living it up on a really cool motorcycle, he then took off with friends in a boat. It really must be the life to be able to do things like that.

George recently released a statement talking about the loss of Walter Cronkite.

“He was the most important voice in our lives for thirty years,” he said. “And that voice made people reach for the stars. I hate the world without Walter Cronkite.”

The world will not be the same without Walter here that’s for sure.

[Images by LUCA SGRO /bauergriffinonline.com]

This footage obtained by CNN is from the last of Michael Jackson’s rehearsals two days before he died. He was letting loose at the Staples Center. And as you can see, he still had all the right moves. It’s amazing watching this, you get a real feeling of happiness knowing that he would have shown all the doubters he could do it…and then reality sets in and you realize that that is the closest we’ll ever get to seeing his comeback tour.

Entertainment Weekly has really impressed me this year. Or maybe I am biased because I subscribe to this magazine. But I am continually excited to get the issues in the mail. On Friday they are putting out a tribute issue for Michael Jackson and unlike other magazines I think that EW has their heart in the right place. They are celebrating with four different covers, and you know you have to buy every cover don’t you?

Some of the tribute things that can be found in this issue?

* a plethora of rare photos
* a complete timeline
* a comprehensive discography (including his earliest work with the Jackson 5) and videography
* a playlist of his essential tracks
* an essay by our columnist Stephen King, who writes about working with Jackson on the 1997 video “Ghosts.”

Now you do know when you hear the word plethora it has to be alot! And Stephen King is even getting in on the action. And that playlist, it will be an awesome one. Can’t wait for this one in my mailbox on Monday.

I have been trying to stay away from the computer today. Trying to not get sucked up into the whirlwind of news that is just overstimulating me. I haven’t uttered Michael Jackson’s name much today. Because the truth is that I can’t imagine a world without his singing in it. It seems just so quiet without him here. Michael changed the face of music forever. I don’t think there will ever be anyone that compares to him in this world and now the King of Pop is gone.

Lisa Marie Presley was married to Michael  for a short time in the 1990’s and took to her MySpace to blog about how she felt about his passing.

Lisa Marie Presley: Michael Jackson Knew…

He Knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can’t recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, “I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did.”

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn’t predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not “a sham” as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a “Normal life” found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to “save him” I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn’t know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson’s being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.

I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP

I hope Michael can rest in peace where he is.

By now you have already heard the news that Michael Jackson has passed away from a heart attack. I will keep this post updated when I find out more. But as of now all the major media places have confirmed the death.

Thriller was the first album I ever bought. I loved Michael’s music for what it was worth. And for those of you that mock him, you really don’t know how amazing he really was. I would loved to have seen how he would have rocked his comeback because we all know he would have…he’s Michael after all. I leave you with my Michael Jackson song, Dirty Diana.

Isn’t funny how the world seems so much quieter without him here. It breaks my heart.

It would have been Heath Ledger’s 30th birthday today, April 4th. (Again, I didn’t realize he had his birthday so close to mine.) But I had to just comment that he is still very much in my mind and I still miss him.

Heath had his whole life in front of him and it still makes me very sad to think he got it taken away from him. We miss you, Heath.

UPDATE: Sorry about getting his age wrong. That’s what I get for trying to fit it in so late at night.

[Image by Juan Rico/Fame Pictures]

A year ago today, January 22nd, life changed. I know for many it did. Heath Ledger died in his apartment while he was sleeping. This year has been tough for many people trying to deal with his death. He really died way too soon. His daughter, Matilda, deserved a father.

I watched The Dark Knight finally last month. I couldn’t get over how amazing he was…well, I knew all along but he was beyond what I thought. I really hope he continues winning awards for his performance because he was ALL that.

I took his death hard. I’m not sure why…maybe because he was at the top of his game, and he was a dad. Being a parent makes me really think of a lot of things differently. I even did something for him that I will never forget. I was getting this sun tattooed on my wrist. The tattoo artist was talking to me about Heath and how he had done a tattoo for him too. So in memory of Heath he put dots around the sun. So everytime I look at my wrist I can remember Heath in my own way without anyone knowing.

R.I.P. Heath…you are missed just as much as the day you left.

[Images by Pacific Coast News.com]

Jessica Szohr spilled a huge Gossip Girl secret this weekend to TV Guide. It’s really big so if you don’t want to read DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER…SPOILER AHEAD!

“There’s a lot going on,” said Szohr. “There’s a love triangle between Vanessa, Nate and Jenny, there’s a funeral….” Catching herself before she said too much, she then added, ”That’s all I can say. We can’t talk about it!”

There is a funeral?? I wonder who it could be? Jessica does give some hints on Vanessa’s love life…

“There’s some flirtation with Chuck Bass coming up — but I think she still misses someone else.”

Chuck??? Vanessa?? GROSS! She needs to be back with Nate! Who do you think is going to die?

[Images by Tom Meinelt-Jackson Lee / Splash News]